All That Glitters Isn't Gold

My mailing of holiday cards stopped in 2006, (coincidentally the first and only year I ever sent them.)  While there's still some time, the forecast is mostly cloudy with a chance of e-cards. If the dog suddenly lets me take a good photo of her wearing something jolly, I'll reconsider.  Don't hold your breath.

Who wants this depressed face hanging up in their house?

 

Let me go on record by saying I fully appreciate receiving cards. I even purchased a decorative wall hanging designed specifically to showcase them.  However, every year without fail, the holiday cheer and wonderment comes to a screeching halt while sorting through the mail.  The crunching noise created when fumbling with THAT card in particular is unmistakable.  I am as tense as a intern tasked to open envelopes during the 2001 anthrax scare.  Today was no different.

Glitter.

I believe it to be a distant relative of the cockroach, able to sustain life even if an atomic bomb is dropped.   You can't get rid of it!  People complain about buying real trees and how the needles show up for months after.  But glittery cards?  Sure, let's buy 1000 and let our friends and family deal with the aftermath..

Last year we received a really adorable holiday gift from the women who clean our house.  Ironic twist?  Glittery.  And it's not just regular glitter.  It's that industrial strength, snowy/flaky stuff that's not only sticky but sheds on everything.   They could not have possible thought this was a good idea.  Clearly a plot to avoid cleaning the area I chose to display it.  Since I'd be wiping up particles every day, why bother to duplicate efforts?  Well they're no match for me.  It's proudly adorning the top of a giant piece of furniture.  Even Shaquille O'Neil can't see that high up.

Me - 1, Glitter/Cleaning People - 0 

So this got me thinking....which do I hate more?  Glitter (the movie) or Glitter (the crafty menace)?  I've seen both do their evil workings (the movie, when I had my wisdom teeth pulled, couldn't sleep and was forced to watch in its entirety) and I'm prepared to let Mariah slide JUST this one time. 

 

16 days to go and only one has made its way into the mailbox.  A special note to the senders of that card - I love you both dearly and look forward to seeing you soon for dinner.  I also hope you decide to host so I can leave tiny bits of dog shit around your house when you aren't looking.  Not as stubborn, but equally as annoying to clean up.

Quick confession - I really have some nerve saying all this.  The one year I sent cards - glitter cards.  A beautiful wintry scene scape covered in the G word.  It's not like I had to hang them up in my own house.