Shitake Happens

For a girl who hates costumes and Halloween, I sure do like event-inspired tee shirts for certain occasions.  To celebrate the NYC Marathon two years ago, I ironed clever phrases on 3 shirts. Why not embarrass my friends right along with me?

And yes, matching undershirts were also in attendance.

When I was 26, I actually made myself a tee shirt in marker to wear the day I got my wisdom teeth pulled.  I was terrified and thought it would be inspirational and make me laugh when the panic set in. Totally backfired -

1) The marker fumes were so bad I probably didn't even need anesthesia to knock me out
2) I wore it under a zipped sweatshirt because, after all, it really was only for me
3) My mother, finding this funny, tried to show the doctor when I was half passed out. 
4) Unrelated point but I was so out of it that I took the teeth home and told my now husband he should wear them on a necklace to our wedding.  (And yes, I realize how weird that is.  Surprising he still showed up at the church...sans tooth necklace.)

So for a recent trip to Napa with The Redhead (her first and she was SUPER excited), I figured shirts were in order. And I knew the EXACT place to order from.   A cute website with food/drink themed gifts and clothes, owned by the mother of a reality TV casting director I once met at a taping  (Not exactly my claim to fame but that's a story for another day).  When I met her she was was wearing a shirt that said....

I knew that day I'd order something eventually.  I love intelligent humor.

I ordered two shirts -

(her current living arrangement)

(part of my mantra for  2011)

Both were offered in only Maroon (as validated by the drop-down menu) and I went with our typical sizes.  I received confirmation my order was processed.  I then sent a response email about how I'd heard of them and how cute the website was.  I am actually thoughtful, believe it or not.

I waited by the mail like a kid looking for college acceptance letters.  Every day, no shirts.  Day before trip, no shirts.  After unsuccessfully trying the phone number (which was temporarily disconnected), I fired off my first email to customer service -

to          info@wearable____,com date      Fri, Jan 28, 2011 at 11:32 AM subject  my order

Hi,

I placed an order over a week ago. I planned on bringing two shirts on a trip this weekend and they're not here.  I tried calling your phone number and it has been temporarily disconnected.  I'm pretty disappointed.  Any update?

 

Three more days, nothing.  Second email -

to          info@wearable____,com date      Fri, February 4, 2011 at 5:14 PM subject my order (and my SECOND email)

Hi Wearable ____________,

Not sure what's going on over there but it's been 2 weeks, no tee shirts and your number is now permanently disconnected.  The vacation I ordered these shirts for was last week so I'm not sure what to do.  Plus you already charged my credit card.

Is anyone planning on answering?  I sure hope so since your website is very much open to taking orders.

Third email -

to          info@wearable____,com date      Tues, Feb 8, 2011 at 7:18 PM subject  Your ______ are NOT wearable

Three weeks, three emails, zero responses - good thing I have all sorts of free time to dispute the charge on my credit card.

I see other people have been posting Internet complaints about never receiving their products.  This makes me very confident I'll be receiving mine. I'd like to turn off my phone and stop responding to emails but we all know that's an asshole thing to do.  I guess you see no issue with it.

I was ready to call Citicards when I  received a package in my mailbox.  Well thankfully these shirts did NOT arrive on time and I packed an alternate outfit.  Not only are they so ugly (and randomly PINK with burgundy shoulders/trim - they look like little league uniforms) but they're SO SMALL and basically sleeveless.   I would not consider myself blessed in the boob category and the letters still stretched out the minute I put it on.  Plus, while the weather was lovely, it would surely be frowned upon if half my stomach was exposed any time I raised my arm to toast at the wineries.

Shitake does happen.  But I did not deserve this level of shitake for being nice enough to support a small business.  Next time I get my lazy ass back to the ironing board and make them myself.