Bloggerazzi

Yes, I realize it's completely obnoxious to take pictures of unsuspecting people.  It's the worst when I make friends and family pretend to pose while I secretly photograph things going on behind them.

But on my recent vacation to the Hard Rock in Punta Cana, I felt I was entitled.  Vacation should be all about me, and it was.   Plus, let's be honest - America is bad enough, but some things you experience outside our borders require a permanent record.  Here's a few of my favorites -

 

No, you are not seeing double. Two women (neither of which should be wearing horizontal stripes), in matching dresses at the airport.  My husband's "OMG, I got the BEST dress at Burlington Coat Factory.  OMG, I ALSO got the BEST dress at Burlington Coat Factory" comment was very amusing.

The archery instructor was absolutely the same person who served me a steak and performed in the center of a bad ass dance circle the prior night .  It's entirely possible he's skilled at all things vacation, but drunk people should not be shooting arrows unless they've been trained  by a professional.  One of the pools was not far away from that target.  (If someone was hit in the face with an arrow, I'd be all over it with my Canon Powershot.)

She's 60 - I know for sure because my husband befriended someone in her vacation brigade who mentioned it.  I felt stupid when he told me the same story moments after my capturing her Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition cover shoot.  She looked great for her age but what exactly was the plan for these pictures?  Oh, my blog?  Awesome, thanks for that.

There are two things wrong with this picture -

1- That guy actually videotaped the entire Hibachi-style meal preparation, all 982 courses they cook on that grill.  Where has it been all his life?  We all love the onion volcano but I do not love it enough to watch the footage ever again.

2- His video camera was probably the reason airlines require you to pay for luggage now.  I think it was bigger than my suitcase. 

It's bad enough when adults get their hair braided by beach drifters, (if you're one of those people, please stop doing that) but there's no need for island themed jewelry to show co-workers you went on a trip.  Just get tan like the other normal members of society.  But if you insist, it's probably not wise to wear your giant starfish necklace in the sun.  Having that image reverse burned into your skin might be worse than discovering you became pregnant with the breakfast buffet omelette chef's baby after 8 margaritas.

It was a lovely trip, I swear.  Although I did miss some great photo opportunities seeing as there wasn't massive world destruction on the 21st of May.  Imagine if a tsunami ripped the bathing suits off some of those pool dwellers?  They were holding on for dear life already - strings and spandex can only take so much before they give up.