1) Parents made costumes back then. My mother transformed me into more of an angel than I already was by altering a gorgeous silver vintage dress from her younger days. I appreciated her effort so much that 17 years later I took the hem down (sort of) and wore it to a freshman year college Halloween party. Sorry dad, I'm sure you don't love that story but I was broke. And mom worked so hard.
2) Since when is it okay to ask "how many can I take"? I guess I can appreciate that question since most of my other visitors tonight thought 5 was the bare minimum.
2a) Not surprising since PARENTS dipped their grubby hands in my bowl. One of my neighbors used to give out pencils and, despite the overwhelming urge to get as many free writing implements as possible, I only took one. Have some manners.
3) Speaking of manners, I heard my baby nephew say "thank you" about 15 times yesterday and he doesn't really know what it means yet (well in fairness he's brilliant so maybe he does). I heard "thank you" today from less than 10%, and they were definitely the ones whose parents beat them on a regular basis. In a good way, of course.
4) I'm all about efficiency, but having a mini van full of kids dropped off in your townhome complex while their parents double park along your street is some major bullshit. I should probably call the wahmbulance right now for all the township residents whose homes are too large and lawns much too sprawling to have their precious children do something called walking.
5) Putting antlers on, or some type of antennae looking headgear is not a legitimate costume. Neither is a head bandage with a bloody pencil sticking out of your forehead. That kid who just smiled adorably at me will surely shoot up his high school in a few years.
6) I really love Twix and think I wear that on my sleeve. Good kids would take the 3 Musketeers, shut up and like it.
7) I like Starburst second best and they apply to the Twix rule.
8) If you wear a terrible Harry Potter of the Caribbean hybrid movie looking costume, don't try coming back for more candy after only 10 minutes. It was unforgettable.
9) A very mismatched parent/child combo just ran my doorbell. He smiled at me in a way that screamed "I'm going to ring your doorbell myself in a few days just to, um, say hello....oh, and I just abducted this kid from down the block to try picking up women".
10) A TV commentator at the parade in NY just called Superman and Edward Scissorhands a "crime fighting duo".
PS - 9pm is my limit. When some stoned 22 year old Nicki Minaj costume wearer with loose morals and low self esteem considers ringing my bell in two hours with her pillowcase, she better keep walking and hit up the McDonald's a block down the highway.
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