"Where's the Rest of Ya?"

56.

My boss believes it's the age when people are allowed to say/do whatever they want.

Interesting answer since I always reserved that type of behavior for 80+.  After 8 decades of life, I want the option to be complete insane and wear tacky clothing if I so choose.   But 56?  Last time I checked, that isn't even old (although as a kid I actually thought most people died in their 50s).

I asked him the question based purely on the fact that, more and more, I am encountering ballsy old people.  Maybe I'm less tolerant from having no living grandparents since 2nd grade.  But there is clearly a point where all socially accepted behavior becomes a thing of the past.  (We all got temporary exemptions on Spring Break trips, in case you were wondering.)

Apparently the writers of Family Guy agree with me.

A few years back I actually had to switch rows on an airplane because a old woman said "she really needed" my seat.  She just decided that being old gave her the right to claim it and refused to get up.  Saying she'd consider switching later in the flight did not make up for my new spot in the middle seat, by the way.  (Although I really didn't need to sit near my husband en route to an island trip for our anniversary.  Good thing I was not at all supported by the flight crew.)

I'm sure there are things they don't fully understand - for example, the concept of therapy dogs. Back in the day, nobody offered you a Golden Retriever for support during difficult times.  You were either beaten into normalcy with a wooden spoon or sent away to "summer camp".  So why was I surprised watching an old dude in a velour sweatsuit and sunglasses (inside the mall) point and stare at a lady and her dog? Eventually he approached her and I cringed.  I can't imagine how the conversation went since it was awkward enough to watch from 20 feet away.  Probably something like "What is wrong with you?  Are you blind?  I'm 93 and can walk without a dog.  He shouldn't be near the food court."  

Unless you are no longer capable of making rational decisions (as determined by your doctor and/or children).

Since the transformation from perky boobs to wrinkled skin bags is so gradual, do they not notice the difference in their physical appearance? Unlikely since they are typically the first people to point out things that are wrong with everyone else.  A total stranger in Nordstrom (982 years old at the absolute youngest) asked me how I was able to wear the heels I was trying on "with that bunion". Until that point, I thought my feet were fine.

I know we're all not getting any younger and will be the same way eventually.  But please, when appropriate, keep your old people on leashes and don't let them out after dark unattended.

**While writing this post, I got an email about a grandmother who attempted to smuggle a butcher knife onto an airplane.  The excuse was that she uses it to sharpen her eyebrow pencil.  (She gets a lifetime pass in my book because that is actually awesome.)